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Author Topic: Text Issues  (Read 150786 times)

Ace

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Re: Text Issues
« Reply #645 on: September 17, 2007, 12:57:09 AM »
Would it make more sense if it was....

Zone 1(Desert) - You walk in with your Shinobi tools and weapons ready and looking for a fight. You look around and notice that this zone is completely  barren and covered entirely in sand with large gusts of wind frequently passing through.

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Shouldn't you add a semicolon.

Zone 3(Lightning Plains) - You walk in with your Shinobi tools and weapons ready and looking for a fight. You walk in and look up at the cloudy sky; you can see flashes of  lightning high up in the clouds and you can hear the rumbling of thunder rather close by.

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Needs a period at the end of the sentence, and I believe it needs a semicolon instead of the comma.

Zone 4(Fire Valley) - You walk in with your Shinobi tools and weapons ready and looking for a fight. In the distance you can see that there are several volcanoes a long distance away; several of them are spewing out large amounts of ash and lava littering the zone with hot fire and many tall trees are ablaze in this zone.

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Present tense no? Commas also need to be added. If someone can think of a better sentence to put here it would be better...The word blowing is used too many times and the sentense need to sound just a little better if you know what I mean.

Zone 6(Plains) - You walk in with your Shinobi tools and weapons ready and looking for a fight. You walk in and notice you're in an almost empty field, filled with tall grass with large gusts of wind blowing through the zone, shifting through the grass, and blowing past you.

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One very long sentence...needs semicolons or periods. In this zone description I have changes many things because the original one did not make sense. If you like it you can use it.

Zone 8(Death Valley) - You walk in with your Shinobi tools and weapons ready and looking for a fight. Steep canyons and gigantic boulders adorn this zone; at the bottom of the canyons there are vast amountsof dead bodies. Also in the zone there lies a dark looking cave that within its depths you see nothing, but many treasures await you. Many have lost their way and never returned with stalagmite rocks covering the cave floor.

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Zone 9(Empty Town...) - You walk in with your Shinobi tools and weapons ready and looking for a fight. The zone is enshrouded in darkness. A full moon hangs in the sky giving the zone some slight amount of light. Around are several building awnings and water towers; it seems to resemble the streets of a deserted city.

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Edited the sentence a little, and deleted one or two words.

Zone 10(Sleepy Hollow) - You walk in with your Shinobi tools and weapons ready and looking for a fight. This zone seems to be all in a dark grey hue. You see many dead trees making small forests all through the zone with small winding paths going through them, though you notice that many of the trees have weapons sticking out of them and instead of sap, blood comes out.

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I hope I didn't make wrong mistakes myself xD.
« Last Edit: September 17, 2007, 01:55:26 AM by ace »
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atomkai

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Re: Text Issues
« Reply #646 on: September 17, 2007, 05:57:18 AM »
Game text:
You have encountered Hanzaki's Kobun which lunges at you with Stabbing Knive!

Knife - singular

Knives - plural

Unless I am missing something else.
« Last Edit: September 17, 2007, 05:59:32 AM by atomkai »
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klaymank

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Re: Text Issues
« Reply #647 on: September 17, 2007, 01:30:58 PM »
Or stabbing Knives. Somebody might of put in the wrong one or forgot a letter
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Ace

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Re: Text Issues
« Reply #648 on: September 19, 2007, 11:36:34 PM »
Ummm....Neji...you will fix the text issues right...no rush...I just wanted to make sure you didn't forget =D.

I know how busy you can get.

By the way...nice job with the pirate talk lines =D.
« Last Edit: September 19, 2007, 11:52:16 PM by ace »
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Neji

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Re: Text Issues
« Reply #649 on: September 21, 2007, 07:40:10 PM »
Sorry, fixed.
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hiro

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Re: Text Issues
« Reply #650 on: September 30, 2007, 06:03:40 AM »
You follow a narrow path away from the stables and come across a rustic looking large meeting hall. A guard stops you at the door and asks to see your nin registration card. Upon showing it to him, he says, "Welcome to the Mission Headquater's reward system. You have earned 5625 points and have 1225 points available to spend," and admits you in.
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Neji

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Re: Text Issues
« Reply #651 on: September 30, 2007, 10:03:02 AM »
thanks ,fixed
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Gyu~ru~ru

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Re: Text Issues
« Reply #652 on: October 17, 2007, 02:10:47 AM »
Petition:

From: Genin Rudeolph
Subject: One minor error
Sent: 2007-10-16 19:40:35

After I killed oro today the next screen talks about "Waiting for him to make his next move, but IT does not". Either it is portraying he is not only human, or it should say HE!......
Not a big deal really.... Just thought I would mention it.

From: Genin Rudeolph
Subject: Wait here it is!
Sent: 2007-10-16 19:43:20

Visiting the Veterans Memorial above the curious rock it says, "While YOUR there" when it should be "While YOU'RE there" or you are.. Way minor errors though...
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Ace

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Re: Text Issues
« Reply #653 on: October 18, 2007, 01:59:02 AM »
Welcome to the Legend of the Green Dragon New Player Primer

Your first day
Your first day in the world can be very confusing! You're presented with a lot of information, and you don't need almost any of it! It's true! One thing you should probably keep an eye on though, are your hit points. This is found under "Vital Info." No matter what profession you choose, in the end, you are some kind of warrior or fighter, and so you need to learn how to do battle.

General Questions
9. What if all I have to say is 'yo - sup?'?
If you don't have something nice (or useful, or interesting, or creative that adds to the general revelry of the game) to say, don't say anything.
But if you do want to converse with someone, send them an email through the Shinobi Mailbox.

One question.. is the FAQ still based off of the Legend of Green Dragon? I am asking this because in one of the statements it says, "Bluspring's Warrior Training," and since SL includes the name Ninja Academy instead, new members could get a little confused no?

« Last Edit: October 18, 2007, 03:43:10 AM by ace »
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Baluski

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Re: Text Issues
« Reply #654 on: October 19, 2007, 04:08:41 PM »
I'm not sure if this stuff couldn't be changed because of the code or whatever, but here it is...

"Fight the Djinn!"

"You have encountered Djinn which lunges at you with The elements!"

"The Djinn summons forth the four elements to rain down on you!"

Onbaa, and he should probably use a different attack, no?
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Neji

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Re: Text Issues
« Reply #655 on: October 21, 2007, 12:07:14 AM »
done.
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Uchihabeast

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Re: Text Issues
« Reply #656 on: October 25, 2007, 10:15:36 AM »
The new titles has alot of Mistakes.
Example!

Mizuk`%ge
 and
$Hok`%ge


Please check all the titles over, Neji? ^^
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Neji

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Re: Text Issues
« Reply #657 on: October 25, 2007, 10:40:15 AM »
the first one I can't really track down, the second one is fixed.
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Uchihabeast

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Re: Text Issues
« Reply #658 on: October 25, 2007, 10:43:50 AM »
Otukage is spelled wrong.

Its Otokage.

o.O
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Neji

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Re: Text Issues
« Reply #659 on: October 25, 2007, 11:30:14 AM »
Erm, it is Oto.
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