Very gud.
For those who want to see what the current version looks like:
Hiro’s Guide to REAL Leetspeak:
DISCLAIMER: These rules only apply to English. One should not attempt to master them until they have a mastery of the English language. As such, many forum lurkers and other idiots who think that they are “1337” may NOT use it. So there.
Rules Regarding Grammar:
1. Leetspeak may only be used on the Interwebz (alternate spelling “Intarwebz”), which is where you are now. It doesn’t work in reality, unless you are with the rest of your friends with no life that find it amusing.
2. All sentences must start with a capital letter, have a subject and predicate, and end in punctuation. This punctuation may be substituted for an emoticon if desired. Any question will only have one question mark, but all exclamation may have as many exclamation points as desired. If the sentence falls under both categories, it must end in “?!?” or “?!?!?” or so on, starting and ending with a question mark.
3. Basic grammar remains pretty much untouched. What does change in Leetspeak, however, is the spelling and creation of new words. Verbs and adjectives also change, as well as possessive nouns, plural nouns, and other parts of speech.
Rules of Spelling (Nouns) in Leetspeak:
1. All plural words that end simply in “s” are replaced with “z.” If the original plural of the noun was “es,” it is replaced with “zez.” Plurals that are the same as the original word will have either “s” or “es” added to the end, depending on the final letter of the word. All other plurals are the same as in regular English. Words that end in “s” but aren’t plural are also changed to “z” as long as the second-to-last letter is a vowel and the last letter is a consonant.
EXAMPLES: Rock → Rockz, Box → Boxzez, Moose → Mooses, His → Hiz
2. If the word ends in “er” or “(a)ir,” change the ending to “aer.” If the word is plural, the ending becomes “aerz.” If the word ends in “ore” or “our,” change the ending to “oar.” If the word ends in “ove,” change the ending to “uv” (alternate spelling “uvv). Words that are three letters are not subject to this rule. If the word ends in “ow,” change the ending to “ao.”
EXAMPLES: Mover → Movaer, Chairs → Chaerz, More → Moar, Love → Luv(v), Now → Nao
3. If the letter “s” is in a word between two vowels, it is changed to “z.” If the letter “o” is between to consonants in a word with more than one syllable, it is changed to “u.”
EXAMPLE: Cheese → Cheeze, Word → Wurd
4. The word “the” will be spelled “teh.” The word “of” will be spelled “uv.” The word “my” will be spelled “mai.” The word “should” will be spelled “shud.” The word “good” will be spelled “gud.” Any form of “hello” (“hi,” “yo,” “hey,” “what up”) will be spelled “hai,” unless the form is “greetingz.” The word “your” will be spelled “yur,” and the word “you” can be spelled normally or as “yoo.” The letter “u” (as well as “ur”) NEVER works as a stand-alone word. Use of it in this way must result in a shunning for one hour. If nobody else posts within an hour, the next poster must make a comment insulting the poster before him/her.
5. Instead of using an apostrophe to denote possession, use the phrase “the ___ of the ___.” When using a possessive pronoun, normal English is used after spelling changes are made. Contractions must be broken up into two words, so apostrophes are only used in proper nouns, which aren’t changed into Leetspeak unless it still makes good sense.
EXAMPLE: The dog’s toys → Teh toyz uv teh dog
6. When spelling a word with a double consonant, add up to two more of the same consonant to the mass. Pronunciation is the same, if anyone actually wants to talk like this.
Adding extra letters is not necessary, but it denotes the importance of the word in the phrase.
EXAMPLES: Spelling → Spellling, Pudding → Pudddding
7. When questioning something someone has said, optional (and most favored) responses include “O RLY?” and “For cerealz?”
8. Substituting numbers for words (“2” for “to” or “too”) must immediately be followed with a smack (in reality) or an instant shunning for the next twenty posts (on the Interwebz). Use of “lol” will result in an instant shunning for the next thirty posts. “ROFLCOPTER” is acceptable, provided it is entirely in upper or lower case. “Lulz” is acceptable anywhere and in any capitalization.
9. “Newbz” are helped, “noobz” (alternate spelling “nubz”) are hated. Use the words for the correct occasion. Follow rule 8 for anyone who uses the word “n00b” in a Leetspeaking zone.
10. Swearing is not encouraging on most forums, but if it is, Leetspeaking is perfectly fine with it. To read about spelling swear words, highlight the empty white space at the bottom of the website. Swearing is used to emphasize points, reply to someone’s comment as a stand-alone response, or in other appropriate circumstances. It should never be used extensively.
