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Author Topic: funny jokes  (Read 3093 times)

anbumiko

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funny jokes
« on: September 02, 2006, 12:43:28 AM »

post the funniest and most wackiest jokes u can possibly think in your head:

Three women are about to be executed. One's a brunette, one's a redhead, and one's a blonde. Two guards brings the brunette forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests.
She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready . . . Aim . . ."

Suddenly the brunette yells, "earthquake!!"

Everyone is startled and looks around. She manages to escape.

The angry guards then bring the redhead forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests.

She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready . . . Aim . . ."

The redhead then screams, "tornado!!"

Yet again, everyone is startled and looks around. She too escapes execution.

By this point, the blonde had figured out what the others did. The guards bring her forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests.

She also says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready . . . Aim . . ."

The blonde shouts, "fire!!"

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Sriracha

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Re: funny jokes
« Reply #1 on: September 02, 2006, 12:51:56 AM »

I don't think anyoen would notice, if not care, if sesame seeds were out of the market. I can't imagine ten years from now,

"DAMN! Do you remember sesame seeds?.... Alll the buns are blank!"

They'd have to change that McCDonald's song-Beef patty, lettuce, tomato, cheese, pickels on a *sad voice* bun.

How does a sesame seed stick to a bun?! That's friggin' magical! There's got to be some sesame glue out there!... or they're adhesive on one side.

Pick up your sesame seed, peel off backing. Your bun should now look spectacular.

What the hell is a sesame?! I don't know! We didn't give them a chance! It's... a street!... it's a way to... open... crap...-->

Well that's all I've got...
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SnowLeoHitori

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Re: funny jokes
« Reply #2 on: September 02, 2006, 07:59:48 AM »

I don't think anyoen would notice, if not care, if sesame seeds were out of the market. I can't imagine ten years from now,

"DAMN! Do you remember sesame seeds?.... Alll the buns are blank!"

They'd have to change that McCDonald's song-Beef patty, lettuce, tomato, cheese, pickels on a *sad voice* bun.

How does a sesame seed stick to a bun?! That's friggin' magical! There's got to be some sesame glue out there!... or they're adhesive on one side.

Pick up your sesame seed, peel off backing. Your bun should now look spectacular.

What the hell is a sesame?! I don't know! We didn't give them a chance! It's... a street!... it's a way to... open... crap...-->

Well that's all I've got...

i ... urm  :-? dont get it >.<
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Sriracha

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Re: funny jokes
« Reply #3 on: September 02, 2006, 08:00:53 AM »

Oh my gosh! You don't?

I laughed my ass off when i heard that joke. It's kinda adulty becuase somethigns are old school but yeah.

ahaha, goooood.
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Kieru

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Re: funny jokes
« Reply #4 on: September 02, 2006, 08:35:40 AM »

I liked it, Sri. I had to read it twice, but it was funny once I got it.
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Sasuke curseseal

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Re: funny jokes
« Reply #5 on: September 03, 2006, 07:47:37 PM »

There were 3 people on a cliff .They found a majic lamp then they rubbed it.tThe genie that came out said that each of them get 1 wish .The first guy wished he was a hawk ,the genie turned him into a hawk, then he flew away.The second guy wished that he was a butterfly, the genie turned him into a butterfly, then he flew away. The third guy was about to make a wish but, he tripped on a rock and said oh SHIT!!!, then the genie turned him into a piece of shit and he fell down the cliff.


  :smt095
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anbumiko

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Re: funny jokes
« Reply #6 on: September 03, 2006, 08:10:41 PM »

xD that was good
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Gyu~ru~ru

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Re: funny jokes
« Reply #7 on: September 03, 2006, 08:32:27 PM »

Chronicles of Ah-So (which literally means retard in Hakka)

One afternoon while Ah-So's mother was cooking in the kitchen, Ah-So suddenly ran into the kitchen and asked his mother for a glass of water & rush back out.

Moments later, Ah-So came running into the kitchen again & asked for another glass of water from his mother. Thinking that her son was very thirsty, she gave him another glass of water.

Then moments later, Ah-So came rushing into the kitchen again for another glass of water from his mother. Curious what her son was doing with the water, she asked him. And his answer was,

"I'm trying to put out the fire on the curtains," he replied as he rush off to his bedroom with the glass of water.
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anbumiko

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Re: funny jokes
« Reply #8 on: September 03, 2006, 08:34:38 PM »

xD that was really good
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Sasuke curseseal

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Re: funny jokes
« Reply #9 on: September 03, 2006, 10:38:12 PM »

yea
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klaymank

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Re: funny jokes
« Reply #10 on: September 04, 2006, 01:21:57 AM »

LMFAO
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I'm like the Doctor. I'm always bouncing around time and space.

SinHarvest

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Re: funny jokes
« Reply #11 on: September 04, 2006, 02:15:48 AM »

Remixed to fit Naruto theme:       
Who can throw a shrukin from Konoha to Water Country
I can
Who can defeat Itachi in one blow
I can
Who can Defeat a Hokage by sneezing
I can
Who can stay up all night and tell lies
I might
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Gyu~ru~ru

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Re: funny jokes
« Reply #12 on: September 04, 2006, 03:41:44 AM »

Chronicles of Ah-So

It was a sunny Sunday morning and Ah-So's Father decides to take Ah-So to town. As they were walking, his father suddenly realizes that the color of his shoes didn't match. One was brown & the other was black.

Feeling too embarassed to go to town wearing a wrong pair of shoes, Ah-So's father told Ah-So to go back home and fetch him the correct pair. Ah-So nods his head wildly & speeds back home.

A few minutes later, Ah-So returns empty handed. Puzzled, his father asks him why didn't he bring the right shoes back. Ah-So looked at his father & said,

"The other pair at home is also brown & black."
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SnowLeoHitori

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Re: funny jokes
« Reply #13 on: September 04, 2006, 10:54:07 AM »

Remixed to fit Naruto theme:       
Who can throw a shrukin from Konoha to Water Country
I can
Who can defeat Itachi in one blow
I can
Who can Defeat a Hokage by sneezing
I can
Who can stay up all night and tell lies
I might

eek >.< i dont get !! >.<



Chronicles of Ah-So

It was a sunny Sunday morning and Ah-So's Father decides to take Ah-So to town. As they were walking, his father suddenly realizes that the color of his shoes didn't match. One was brown & the other was black.

Feeling too embarassed to go to town wearing a wrong pair of shoes, Ah-So's father told Ah-So to go back home and fetch him the correct pair. Ah-So nods his head wildly & speeds back home.

A few minutes later, Ah-So returns empty handed. Puzzled, his father asks him why didn't he bring the right shoes back. Ah-So looked at his father & said,

"The other pair at home is also brown & black."

That was hilarious XD
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SinHarvest

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Re: funny jokes
« Reply #14 on: September 04, 2006, 04:43:45 PM »

A young female teacher was telling her class about her their final exams
"If you miss this test, you will get a zero, unless you die, Mother dies, or Severe Injury." The teacher said
A smart ass at the top of the class said." What if your exhausted from sexual activity." The Teen said as the class uproared in laughter
The teacher took off her classes and smiled
"Well then, you'll just have to take the test with your other hand."
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