Today, my crazy English teacher had us write a satire after reading "A Modest Proposal" (Swift.) Here's mine.
6. Has your child ever wanted a pony to ride around on in the backyard, up the block, or through their friend’s house? The child uses every trick they have to try and convince you of their plea: those big, watery eyes, the bottom lip, hour long tantrums. They’ll go on about it for days, maybe list how they could benefit from it. And what do you say? No. That’s right, no. Most parents say the same word, put an excuse on the table so that their child won’t feel as bad, but that never works. At the word “no,” the child knows how long and terrible their life is going to be without that pony.
Because of one, simple word, the child, your child, will always be the one looked down upon by others from their high horse (pony.) Those kids with ponies, the one’s with good parents, will be able to see how much of a loser that your child is. They might say “what kind of cruel father do you have to deny you one wish?” Others might just prance off with their boastful laugh following them.
As your child grows older, those other kids with ponies will grow older too. Nothing will change even if your kid grows out of the pony phase. The pony-riders will hold their heads high, knowing that they are better than the pony-less. They can prance and hop fences with the ease that’ll never be known to the others.
Even after your child’s golden years slip past, the mounted children will be able to hold blackmail over their head. They will be the first to see your child’s bald spot, the first to laugh and sneer or make a funny joke. Here’s a classic; what do you call lice on bald man’s head? Homeless! Ha ha, it’s great, a classic. Not to your child though, they are the butt of that joke, all because you denied them a pony when they were little. Now ask yourself, aren’t you a GREAT parent?
Is it any good :S ?
