(“Electric Eye” plays)
Deep beneath the Ocean’s surface…
Melkor: Evwybody get in here! We got us a new membah. Evwyone, feast your eyes on the guy known as Zombie Boy-oy.
ZOMBIE BOY: Hey, how’s it goin’?
VALON: Crikey! A new member. Talk about a turnout for the books, mate.
Melkor: Yeah! Now there ah foh of us. We’re like the Beatows, man. Only we don't pwoduce moosic, we pwoduce EVOH! Evoh moosic! Dananananana nanananana nana nana na~! You pway it backwahds and it’s like: “Don’t go to skooh! Stay at home! Pway video gayms!”
RAPHAEL: Uh, actually, boss, there’s five of us.
Melkor: Just like the Beatows, mayn!
RAPHAEL: Actually…
Melkor:(cutting Raphael off) The Beatows!
RAPHAEL: Uh…
Melkor: Maaaaayyn!
RAPHAEL: Um, yeah, right. Just like the Beatles.
Melkor: Man, I liked it better when you said “zoog zoog”. You weren’t such a little bitch.
ZOMBIE BOY: I was kicked out of Ariel Council so I decided to defect. Now nothing will stop us from taking vengeance on him and destroying everythin-
Melkor: (laughs) Okay, shut up, man. I can’t undahstand a wohd yoh sayin'.
ZOMBIE BOY: Uh, but I-
Melkor: You gotta learn to annunc-i-ate, mayn! Speak plain English! It’s a matter of coaidese- cor- corage- It’s good manners, mayn!
ALISTER: So tell us, mighty and powerful Melkor, how are we going to crush our enemies today?
Melkor: Here’s what we gonna do, mayn. We gonna find Yu-gay Moh-toe and we gonna take his dyk.
RAPHAEL: (flatly) What?
Melkor: His dyk! You know, man, his dik. We all got dyks. You got a dyk, I got a dyk. Hell, I could whip out my dyk right now and show you.
RAPHAEL: No! No! No, please don’t. I’ll- I'll just trust that it’s there.
ZOMBIE BOY: Uh, is he saying “deck” or “d*ck”?
VALON: Eh, sometimes it’s best not to ask.
Melkor: Now it’s crucial that you guys don’t [EFF!] this up. So I want you to cwose yoh eyes and imagine that yoh standing in front of Yu-gay Moh-toe.
RAPHAEL: Okay, now what?
Melkor: Now, reach out and gwab his dik.
RAPHAEL: Oh, no.
Melkor: And pull it towards you.
RAPHAEL: Oh, this can‘t be happening.
Melkor: Then I want you to cut his dik into three pieces!
RAPHAEL: Mother of God!
Melkor: And each of you will take one piece (Monkey D. Luffy’s head pops up in the corner, then pops down) of his dik and twavel to a different part of the planet. And then his dik will belong to us!
RAPHAEL: Uh, i-is that it? Can we open our eyes now?
Melkor: No, man. There’s one more part to the pwan.
RAPHAEL: Of course there is.
Melkor: Next, we gonna take Maiah dyk!
(Raphael throws-up)
Melkor: Hey man, not on the rug! Just talking about (incoherent rambling, trying to say Mariah name) Maiah dyk!
